


More Than Words

by camstiel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, M/M, im sorry, literally no happy ending
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-18
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-16 20:15:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28836909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/camstiel/pseuds/camstiel
Summary: au where cas leaves dean his trench coat after the empty takes him (first chapter is building up to that:))
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Kudos: 9





	More Than Words

There was no escape. 

Death was quite literally knocking on their door.

They were trapped.

Cas had cut his hand in an attempt to ward Billie out, but both of them knew it wouldn’t hold.

Dean had never been scared of death, he had actually expected it more often than not. Death was an inevitable disease that couldn’t be cured, this he knew.

However, that didn’t stop him from fighting like hell to keep the people he loved immune.

Maybe that was the reason why Castiel’s next words seemed to shatter him completely.

”I made a deal.”

Green, tear-filled eyes scanned Cas’ face, looking for any sign that what he said wasn’t true. When he found none, a broken sigh left his lips.

“You did what?” 

“To save Jack. Dean…I-I made a deal with the Empty. When I finally…allowed…myself to be happy, the Empty would come and take me away. Forever.”

Dean had felt his throat close up. The room they were in suddenly had felt smaller, and Dean struggled to keep himself from collapsing onto the floor.

“Wh-what? Why wouldn’t you tell me?!” He managed to choke out, his voice barely above a whisper.

“I couldn’t- I wouldn’t let you deal with that burden, Dean. I made that deal, I  _ chose _ to do that. I-“ 

“Whatever it was, Cas. We would’ve figured it out  together!  Because that’s what we do! Why would you wait until now to tell me this?” Dean questioned, his voice rising with each word.

Cas didn’t answer at first. All he did was look at Dean with a small smile. That same smile that Dean had fallen in love with all those years ago. That same smile that Dean yearned to be the cause of. It was then when Cas broke his silence.

“Do you remember when we first met?”

Dean was confused to say the least. Here they were, Death no more than a few feet away from them, and Cas was asking him about the night they had met? Before Dean could question the angel further, Cas had started to speak again.

“It was cold, about 48 degrees. There was a light breeze, about 6 miles per hou-“

“Cas, what are you talking about? H-how do you remember all that?”

“Because it was the most important day of my life, Dean. It was the day I met you.” Cas confessed, that small, crooked smile never leaving his face. He took Dean’s silence as a signal to keep talking.

“I knew who you were, Dean. I’d heard stories of you in Heaven…but that day, and every day after that, I got to know the _real_ you . I-I got to know the Dean Winchester who hates early mornings. I got to know the Dean Winchester who’s allergic to cats,” Cas let out a teary laugh as he shrugged his trench coat off and placed it on the chair in front of him. 

“But most importantly, I got to know the Dean Winchester that loves with everything he has. I got to know the Dean Winchester that would sacrifice anything to protect the people he loves. Dean…getting to know  you …the _real you_ …has been the greatest opportunity of my life.”

“Cas…wh-what are you saying?” Dean whispered, his eyes finally meeting Castiel’s. Looking into the depths of his blue eyes, Dean saw nothing but sincerity and  _pure love_.

That’s when Dean realized how this was going to end. His eyes allowed one tear to spill forward. That one tear turned into two, then three, and then all of a sudden the dam finally broke. 

“Cas, you can’t do this. Not like this. Not-“

“Dean,” Cas started, a single tear rolling down his cheek, “Let me finish. _Please_.”

Dean slowly nodded, wiping the tears away from his eyes while simultaneously taking a deep breath in. Cas continued.

“Life on earth…human life…is full of pain and-and misery. Everyone is damaged in one way or another. But underneath all of those cracks and breaks, there is light. There is light that shines so bright with  _ hope _ and  _ love _ ,” he said, his voice slightly wavering.

“Dean, I know how you see yourself. Y-you despise yourself, and you think that you’re not worthy of anything _good_ in this life. But that’s not true. And if you saw yourself the way  _ I _ see you, you would know that.

“I can see your soul, Dean. I see that light inside of you and it burns _so_ bright . Do you know why, Dean? It’s because you are the most _caring_ and _loving_ man that I will ever know.

“ _You_ were the one who taught me what love is. Y-you did that, Dean. And I am forever grateful that I got the chance to know you …to _love_ you.”

There it was. His greatest confession. In this moment, Castiel dared a look at Dean. 

His brows were furrowed and tears stained his face. His cheeks were flushed and his bottom lip was quivering. If Cas was being honest, Dean looked like a mess.

But then Cas _really_ looked at him. And all he saw was love. Pure, beautiful love. He chuckled to himself.

_ Still beautiful. _

_ Still Dean Winchester. _

“Dean…I love you.” 

He said it again. 

Because he’d be damned if he left without letting Dean know.

“Cas I-“

All of a sudden, Billie bursted through the door, scythe in hand. At that same moment, Cas saw the Empty take shape behind Dean.

Dean noticed Cas’ eyes shift from his own to something in the background. He slowly turned his body, dreading of what he would come face to face with.

There it was. The Empty. If Dean could describe it, he would say exactly that. It was empty. And dark. And evil.

And it was going to take away the love of his life. Forever.

He turned back around and met Cas’ eyes, mesmerizing every last detail.

“Please. Don’t. Cas, I lo-“

“Goodbye, Dean.”

Before he could react, Cas had grabbed his shoulder and thrown him to the ground. 

It took Billie first. It gave Dean hope…hope that maybe the Empty would be satisfied with Death and leave his angel here. With him.

He had never been so wrong.

He watched in horror as the Empty slithered over to Cas, enveloping him in its black goo.

Cas’ eyes landed on Dean’s for the last time. He didn’t say anything. All Cas did was nod his head and give Dean a small smile.

That one action told Dean everything.

_ I know. Dean. I already know. I always have. _

The Empty had closed in on Cas’ head and the next second, he was gone.

Dean had tried to scream. He had tried to yell and to beg for the angel to come back, but nothing would come out.

He remained on the floor and curled his knees up to his chest. The handprint on his shoulder was a horrible reminder of what had just happened.

His head finally rested on his arms that rested on top of his knees. It was then when the sobs started.

The faint buzz of his phone could barely be heard over the gut-wrenching cries. Dean didn’t know how long he sat on floor just sobbing. He repeated only four words like a prayer, hoping that if he said them enough, Cas would come back to him.

_ I love you too. _


End file.
